your-fill-in-the-blank-makes-me-hot

September 20th, 2007YOUR “FILL IN THE BLANK” MAKES ME HOT!

Well, here I am. Guest blogging for the very first time–which is nice because I have certain “restrictions” on my blog, and Dawn said I could say anything I wanted here! Thanks, Dawn, for allowing me this opportunity. Although I should have opted to do Monday’s guest blogging as then all of you readers wouldn’t say, “Gee, there were three good days of guest posts, and now we have this crap.” But whatever. I’ll keep writing anyway. You can all read if you want to. Except for you, mom. If you followed the link to get over here, I’d appreciate it if you’d just go back to my regular site. See, I happen to know for a fact that you and dad have never had sex. And I’m here to tell you that, despite having birthed two children, Mike and I have never had sex either. Seriously!Ok, so now that mom is gone…..

I’ve been married 16 years. That’s long. And I’ve noticed that our romantic life has gone in phases. Sometimes, like early marriage, there was a lot. Then when the babies were born….well, I’d have killed him if he even THOUGHT of touching down there! Then came the sleepless nights. Then the toddler illness phase. Then there was the “mom can I sleep in your bed tonight” phase. All pretty much lust-killers.

And recently….well, no real excuse. Except dueling laptops and internet access. I mean, why have sex when you can read blogs, right?

Until I came across something on cre8buzz–a new social network. It linked to the MamaLoves blog. I found her blog on a day when she was guest posting elsewhere, so of course, I had to follow that link. After laughing myself silly, and in typical internet linking style, that led me to AAG. I read some of her stuff a bit and I will say, I figured out why I wasn’t having all of the fun. Because AAG was hogging it all!

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So I had to make a conscious decision to get in on the action. I had to make the choice to be pro-active and get what I want! Or what a healthy marriage needs. So I started looking for ways to spice things up. Like putting my laptop away. (GASP) Yeah, that was a good start. But Mike still had his. Hmmm…..

So I made a choice. One of the things that irritated me was that he was such a computer nerd. Always had to be toying with something. A button on the blog wasn’t just right. So he’d have to spend an hour fixing it. Or the audio for Pediacast wasn’t as clear as it should be. So he’d spend two hours working on it. So one day, I lean in and whisper to him, “Your computer skills make me hot.”

Uh huh. Yeah, that was enough to get him to focus his attention on something other than his whopping 17 inch screen (Hey, size doesn’t matter so stop thinkin’ that!)

After that we….(section deleted by guest blogger on the off chance that my mom cannot follow directions and she’s still reading)

Well, you know, computer skills can only get a woman so far. So I had to be creative. I had to think of what else would turn me on. Plus, I thought I would combine that information with another bit of information–namely that while we are on this up-phase of our romantic life, my housework has seriously suffered.

So one night, lying in bed, I turned to him and whispered, “You know what would really make me hot?”

“What?” he answered, anxious to hear how he could get more of that.

“To see you doing housework in the nood (karen typed it right, but I’ve changed the spelling to stop the f’ing PERVERTS from finding my site by typing N_DE YOUNG GIRLS – grrrrrr).

“But,” I added, “it would probably take a couple of hours of seeing you do serious housework to really turn me on.”

Hmpf. Can you believe he hasn’t taken me up on that offer? And here I thought I had the answer!

Hey, ya can’t blame a girl for trying!