Posted under Uncategorized by Dawn
My writing assignment this week from my therapist is to write about the things I value in myself. She specified, though, that it cannot involve my children.
How is it possible to delineate the two? My children are what define me. Aren’t they? Motherhood has changed me. My husband actually made a comment once before about how I’d changed – I wasn’t the same person he’d met. Well, of course I’ve changed. I had children! I was transformed from mild-mannered martha to SUPERMOM!
Able to change diapers with a single hand.
Able to leap tall piles of clothes in a single bound.
Able to see through the little white lies and get to the truth, justice and the am… oh sorry.
Able to defend my children as fiercely as a mother lioness. That’s probably the best way to describe myself – my “new” self – a mother lion, protecting her cubs. I am always their biggest cheerleader. No longer able to just content myself with planning the day for myself or me & my man, I now contend with FIVE of us at any given time. Feeding, changing, teaching, correcting, helping, and always, always, loving.
How do I write about what I value in myself without talking about my mothering instinct? The way I know when someone’s not feeling well without them saying a word? The way I can hear the first wretch of a sick child long before their father does. The way I can distinguish a hurt cry from a crowd of kids and know it’s my child. Or a raised, alarmed voice. Or any of the other distinctions that my children make for me.
Perhaps the thing I value MOST in myself is that, on the whole, I am a Good Mother. I love my children, I do not berate them, wear them down in guilt, make fun of them or let them make fun of each other. I teach them about valuing other people, no matter what their differences. I teach them how to love Each Other, no matter how much they may drive each other crazy. I teach them about patience, even though I may not always have alot of it. I teach them to look at the world differently, and to have an appreciation for that world. “Don’t hurt that bush – it’s a living thing” and I mean it. “Leave that bug alone – he has a family too, you know.” And they remember these things. Because of me. I teach them responsibility – being responsible for themselves first and foremost.
Perhaps the things I value in myself will come when I’m not thinking about it. But being a mother is what makes me who I am. Motherhood defines Me.
This post is part of a group writing project at MamaBlogga – I just love writing things for her writing projects, because it always makes me stop and think! You can see the other entries at her blog.