Posts Tagged ‘parenting’
Does everyone feel this way or is it just me?
As you may or may not have noticed, I am not always confident in my abilities as a parent. Most recently, this has been glaringly obvious to me that I am lacking something, somewhere because my two oldest children seem to HATE each other.
How is it possible that 2 kids with so many years between them can find so much to fight about?
I do blame alot of it on the stuff that they’ve picked up from other kids. But if I do not allow them out to play with other kids, they’ll be … I don’t know – stunted?
But it’s still really difficult to listen to my beautiful little girl tell her brother she hates him. Where did she even LEARN that? Outside. Where did she learn that kicking or smacking was an effective strategy for getting what she wants?
Anthony, by the same token, is all of a sudden enjoying his new "Freedom" that came with him getting his own room. So the whole "GET OUT OF MY ROOM" thing has come into play and it makes me NUTS.
They spend more & more time every day screaming at each other or coming to me screaming that the other one has done SOMETHING to them, said something, etc.
All I can think is that I’m doing SOMETHING wrong to either make them this way or not be able to STOP THEM from doing it.
I know what you’re thinking. ALL siblings fight, Dawn. I know that from first hand knowledge. My oldest brother and I fought like cats & dogs constantly. I remember calling my mother up at work frequently to tell her of the newest outrage. I am 28 months older than my brother – old enough to be IN CHARGE OF HIM, thankyouverymuch – and him being old enough to HATE that idea. The nasty words flew. He was smaller than me, but much more physical, so I’d have to run from him, hide behind a closed door – one that he (more than once) put his fist or foot through!
So I KNOW that all siblings fight. But OMG, I never thought it’d be like this for kids that have 6 years between them!
Hubby (from work) says "separate them – keep them apart" – yeah, OK – but this is alot easier said than done.
I know that Anthony needs space. One of the main reasons why we decided to split them up at night was because of that -he’s getting older, his body is changing, etc. and he doesn’t need to be co-sleeping with his 4 yr old sister any more. So into the other bedroom he went. But he’s taking this opportunity to distance himself from her more & more every day, and I don’t like that.
I suppose it’s inevitable that he’s going to develop more interests that do not include HER, but it’s hard to watch, too. Libby doesn’t know nor care about his changes – she just wants what she wants – WHEN SHE WANTS it – and that includes playing too roughly with the baby, or playing in what has always been The Play Room – which is now His Bed ROOM.
But OY – where are my earmuffs?
September Writing Project
Well, unfortunately, I didn’t win that coveted $30 g.c. but as I mentioned the other day, I really enjoyed writing my thoughts down about the definition of motherhood. The rest of these lovely moms also did, as there sure were alot of them! Take a minute or five and go read them, too 
- Thanks, Mom. by Papaya Mom (Congrats! She’s the winner) (*)
- Motherhood by Jo Hemmant
- Motherhood is… by Melissa Buker
- Motherhood Is by Elaine
- Motherhood Is… by Summer
- Dichotomy by Robin
- A mother’s brain cracked open by Shawn
- Motherhood is Fulfilling by Amber(homeschooldiva)
- in da ‘hood by stephanie
- Nothing prepared me for what motherhood is by Jen
- What Does Motherhood Mean to Me? by Neena
- My two jobs by Deb – Mom of 3 Girls
- Mother of Many by Donetta
- Motherhood- It’s not what you think by boogiemum
- Nostalgiancholy by swirlingnotions
- Mommy-ing by Phyllis Sommer
- Motherhood is a 10 Letter Word by warillever
- Motherhood Is. . . by Jennifer (JenuineJen)
- Motherhood Is/Means… by Amanda Regan (madamspud169)
- Motherhood – A To Z by Mama Zen
- Group Writing Project: What is Motherhood by Ursula
- The Top Ten Definitions of Motherhood by Kate
- Journey Into the Unknown by bellevelma
- If sweating gets rid of my impurities… by Jenn
- Motherhood Is… by Kymberlyn Steel-Fannin
- Motherhood is . . . by Christy
- Motherhood is an Emotional Rollercoaster by Believer in Balance
- Heaven In Her Smile by Michelle
- “Perfect” versus “Imperfect” by Michelle (beartwinsmom)
- Motherhood is a Marathon, Not a Sprint by Sunny
- The Many Faces of Motherhood by Lynnae
- Motherhood isn’t . . . by Jordan (MamaBlogga). Oh, wait, ME!
- Motherhood Is…Much Funnier After A Nap by Jenner
- I’ve Learnt So Much by Tiffany*
- My Definition by Dawn
- A Mother, Found and Filled by SingForHim
- “I Don’t Have Time For This!” by Lucy
- [late] Motherhood is. . .NOT about me! by Janean
Thanks to Jordan at MamaBlogga for doing this. I look forward to the next one!
TechnorTags: writing, mamablogga, motherhood, writing, essays
Mommy Blogging 101
Wordless Wednesday people, please scroll
When I first ran across the blogosphere about 2-1/2 years ago, it was under another … “theme”, I suppose you’d call it. They weren’t mommy blogs. They were hmm… “couples” blogs. They were largely talking about their relationships, intimacy was a major thread, and you could expect to see expletives. At the time, I was very unhappy in my life and took to blogging with a vengeance and it really helped get those things out of my head that were there. I loved it and became quickly obsessed! I was always checking my stats, responding to comments and emails and looking at what others were posting. I became rather popular amongst that “circuit” and I enjoyed that status! I had regular readers who would always look to see what I was up to, and I had my favorites too.
Then I became pregnant with Zachary. My blogging on my (what I term) adult blog (because of it’s content – no I wasn’t posing nud_) slowly ground to a halt, and I began blogging about my pregnancy, and all the thoughts and feelings that went with that. Again, it was a huge help for me to get these things out of my head, and to write about everything gave me some perspective and I hoped, helped others as well. Some of my first posts were rather raw, because the idea of going through another pregnancy, and then these first few months following, was NOT something I was looking forward to. Then, he was here! and I was able to post about HIM! HIM! HIM! and of course, my miserable hormones and the (un)joy of getting breastfeeding started and not sleeping, post-partum depression, and you know, the whole FIRST MONTHS thing.
Momtuition
I’ve talked before about having some weird, intuitive feelings about things that were about to happen, and although I don’t always recognize that that’s what’s going on, I’ve tried hard to really LISTEN to them when they happen.
It happened yesterday and I didn’t listen, and although it wasn’t a bad thing, I still am left to wonder.
If my ex-husband does read this, I hope he will not take offense, as the feelings I had were not specifically about him, but rather his actions on the whole. Because he is not a parent, I doubt he can possibly understand mine or my husband’s position on this.
Now, for the explanation.
My ex-husband, who is *not* the father of my children, is up visiting NH. He is single, has been for the nearly 12 years that we’ve been divorced. We’re still friends, and so I know for a fact that he hasn’t even dated in that time.
During that time, he’s spent his vacations and other time off with nieces (he has no nephews), including my brother’s oldest daughter, as well as his step-brother’s kids. He takes them places, and is in general, a fun, generous uncle.
Gradually, though, they’ve all grown older and have sort of “moved on”. This actually started with my youngest brother & sister when we were married. We spent tons of time with them because we had no kids of our own.
Anyway, he’s up here visiting. And because we have Zachary now, I’m not really in a position to do the things that he came up to do (water park, hiking, etc. ) so he’s asked to take Anthony with him to do various things. He took him bike riding yesterday in the town’s cemetary (because it’s safe) and that’s when my momtuition kicked in. He’s never said or done anything even remotely icky, but the whole situation just had my hackles up. I mean – he’s alone, with my 10 yr old son, in a place that’s FULL of … places to hide? I guess. I don’t know – maybe it’s just my imagination in full force, but I just had an icky feeling the whole time they were gone, and was very grateful for them to be back.
Today, he wanted to take Anthony hiking with him up a not too serious mountain. Again, my ick factor raised to RED and I just didn’t like the idea. I spoke to hubby via IM and he wasn’t either but was leaving the decision to me (but with the addendum that if something happened to Anthony (mountain lion, cliff, etc), that ex-hubby would DIE.
Greeeeat.
So, I finally came to the decision that I just didn’t like the idea. But I didn’t want to offend the ex-hubby, because he’s really done nothing to warrant this kind of ickiness. So I said that my stomach is still bothering me from last night, and that hubby didn’t want me left alone with the other two in case something got worse. Anthony was mad, but he seems to have gotten over it. Ex-hubby left to go hiking. End of story, right?
Or is it?
I was out in the garden with Libby and it occurred to me that we’d never talked to Anthony about what he should do if someone WE KNEW did something that made him feel weird, icky, etc. Probably because I want to shield him from that, and he’s homeschooled and doesn’t get around many people for any kind of extended time, it’s just never been an issue. But all the WHAT IFs floated around in my brain while I was weeding, and I finally had to bring it up with him, without pointing a finger at the ex at the same time. I just explained that if someone did try to do something that made him feel weird, or anything, to get away and then tell me or his dad, NO MATTER WHAT the person says. Again, it was hard to do without pointing a finger or naming names, and just to keep it general and light, but I hope I managed.
His response was, rather indignantly, “I know, Mom” and that was it.
What would you do? Would you let your pre-teen go hang out with a 40 yr old man? Am I being over-protective/over-cautious? Am I letting prejudices get to me? Or is my momtuition a finely tuned machine, protecting my kids from unseen, and possibly real danger?
Should I up my zoloft? ROTFLMAO
Please help
I found this today on The Parent Bloggers Network and went over to see what was what.
Now, I sit here crying because this woman has to deal with so, so much right now. I can easily put myself into her shoes through her writing (especially this post.
She doesn’t want pity – although I can’t help but feel so bad for her. Perhaps it’s because I’m back in my dark place and my emotions are very raw again. I am finding it hard to even fathom what I would be like in her shoes, but I know she’s handling it a hell of a lot better than I ever could.
My nana had breast cancer – and she kicked it’s ass. My mom has had to have a breast biopsy because of something rather disturbing growing in there. I simply wait in line for my experience … but I simply CAN NOT FATHOM doing it while nursing my sweet baby boy.
And although it’s a day early, I’ve also nominated her for the June Perfect Post award (offered by Surburban Turmoil & MommaK), because it did make me cry… and not much usually does that – except for the two child death posts that I read on Friday *and I can’t go there*.
So please, grab this and put it on your blogs to show support for Team WhyMommy and then go over there and offer her some encouraging words in her comments. She needs them.
Thank you.
Technorati Tags: cancer, survivors, blogging, perfect post award, helping
Powered by ScribeFire.
