Coming to a Nursery Near You

Archive for the ‘love’ Category

On Family

My mom left yesterday, after having spent 49 4 days here visiting. While I love my mom to pieces, there’s a REASON why (most) adult children do not live with their parents.

For that matter, I think that adding ANYONE extra to an already busy family of 5 is stressful enough. But comments like “geez, I can’t believe he’s nursing AGAIN” don’t go far towards a stress-free visit either.

On Health

I went to the dentist on Monday to have a tooth pulled. I’d decided on the one that I thought was causing the numbness into my head, down my arm, etc. I worked myself up into having at least that one done without getting knocked out.

I got there, told the hygienist what we were doing and she informed me that that tooth wasn’t on our “treatment plan”. Ok…. well, this is the one that’s causing me the problem *right now*. So the dentist comes in and shows me the x-rays (from 2 months ago) and explains that the tooth I’m complaining about has had a root canal, and therefore, cannot be causing me those problems. It might be from stress, there might be a fracture in the tooth, but the tooth itself is not the problem.

However! he goes on to explain, you see this area here? (on the other side of my mouth) – that dark area is an infection that’s been in there for quite some time – it’s eating away the bone over there. Oh, and over here – those teeth I originally complained about – the 2 whose fillings fell out, the teeth broke, and yeah, they’re oh so pretty now – they’re also massively infected, and will likely land me in the hospital long before the one I’m complaining about does. He actually used the term “raging infection”.

So, then I was left with trying to decide WHAT to do. My insurance won’t pay for any extractions. But he did take another xray of the tooth I was complaining about. As I was getting out of the chair, having decided to just wait till I can afford to have the worst ones taken care of, he comes back with “oh, that tooth you were complaining about – yeah, I can now see where there might be a problem – we can either redo the root canal and crown the tooth (that was never done) or remove it.”

Sigh.

So I left with all my teeth still in there, still infected. I’d already called another dentist who takes payment plans, but he couldn’t see me until the 22nd. But the receptionist had also put me on the cancellation list, and later that day, she called with a cancellation for Friday (Today, dammit) So, I’m going to go see him today and see what HIS assessment is of these pains in the ass teeth.

Oh, and I have a follow-up w/my Dr. today also to talk about the zoloft and how I’m doing, etc. Fun – Fun – Fun day!

edited; cancelled on me.

On Babies

Would someone please tell me why why WHY my nearly 6 month old is still waking up 3-4 times a freakin night. PLEASE!?!?

I decided that maybe his restlessness sleep, both during the day and at night might be from the coffee I drink. I have 2 cups every morning, but a few weeks ago, bought a different brand. I thought maybe it just has more caffeine, so this week, I bought one that’s got 1/2 the caffeine. I’m hoping it helps. But omg, do I feel the effects of the less-than-normal caffeine! I’m so tired.

He’s also managing to get up on his hands and knees and rock back and forth. I had to finally take the basinette insert out of his pack & play because I was worried he’d hit his head on the diaper-changer thing (that I never even used once). I think it’s only a matter of weeks before he’s on the go, god help me.

On Kids

My mom babysat for us on Tuesday night so hubby & I actually got to go OUT OF THE HOUSE for a couple of hours *alone* for the first time in 6 months. We went to dinner and really enjoyed it (except for the fact that both of our mouths hurt from our lousy teeth LOL) and each other. It was nice

Oh, and the newspaper article came out about Anthony & his lemonade stand and it was great! I’m working on getting it pieced together to show on here, but I’ve just been… busy.

ThinkGeek.com sent me a gift certificate good for anything in their store to replace that gross ant farm. I really do encourage you to shop with them – the antworks ant farm really was a fascinating thing to watch. And I’m not just saying that because of their customer service.

On School
My friend Queenie has invited me to co-author a blog with her about our homeschooling family adventures. She’s gotten the site up, and now it’s more a matter of me actually finding an extra brain cell or two to put together our homeschool plan for the year. Yea, I know it’s August LOL

Every week when we go to the grocery store, my son & daughter wait patiently for us to get to the bakery section so they can go get their free cookie… because of course, there are NO BETTER COOKIES than FREE COOKIES.And every week, the bakery woman tells us what a HANDSOME son we have, and oh we’re gonna have to lock him up, etc. etc. yadda yadda yadda.

And while I puffed up with pride the first one or two times she said it, now it gets on my nerves because she never says anything about my daughter, who is a beautiful little girl. But anyways…I’ve known since he was little(er) that he was gonna be a handsome young man. His dark brown eyes & hair are a deadly combination. But ya know… that isn’t for YEARS still. Yeah, ha ha ha, yup, we’ll have to lock him up… ha ha ha. Last night, we were strolling through the market, and I spot this little girl (ok, NOT so little, probably around 10 or so) and she’s all doe-eyed, just STARING at my son! I know that look!!!!! “O M G, she’s staring at MY SON!” and not in that “ew, look, it’s a weird yucky boy” look. Nooooo, more in the “Oh look, there’s my prince charming and we’re going to have 15 babies and live happily ever after!” look. O M G. So we turn the corner to go down the next aisle and my son sidles up to me and almost whispers “mom… that girl was LOOKING at me”. And me, being the total goofball mom that I am, say “I knooooowwwww… it’s because yer a CYOOOT BOY!” and sort of slobber over him. (Ok, not really) And after he’s gotten over THAT moment, he says “I think she’s in LOVE with me!” And I explain that no, she’s probably NOT in love with him but that she’s noticed that he’s a CYOOOOT BOY!!!!! (evil snickering and all) and he says “I’ll bet that’s what Libby will turn into.” and I assured him that yes, she probably will… because all girls like to stare at CYOOOT BOYSSSSS!!! *laughs* Time to buy the padlock for his bedroom door.

Technorati Tags: parenting, motherhood, adolescence, boys, growing up

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A Letter to My Children:

How times flies! I hope that you are together when you read this. Togetherness has always been so important to me, that you had each other, no matter what, in life.

In the intervening years since I’ve written this letter and you reading it, I hope that our world has changed for the better. I hope that there haven’t been any more wars, and that you’ve been safe from them if there have. I hope that the people you love most in your lives know about me & your dad and that you’ve taught your children (you’d better all have children by now!) how much you and they meant to us. I hope that you’ve found someone truly special to spend your lives with, and that they appreciate and celebrate you every day, as your dad and I did. You truly were our lives, and I suppose time will tell whether or not you know this.

Anthony, as the oldest, I hope that you’ve always been just a phone call away from your brother & sister, and that they’ve always known they could count on you for anything. You were always such a great big brother, so protective and caring. I hope that you’ve continued that and taught your own children how important having a sibling is.

Liberty, you certainly lived up to your name when you were little. I hope you have still – that you’ve grown up to be independant and strong. I have the feeling that you’ve done some crazy things in your life, but I know that they were done out of your huge sense of curiousity and wonder. Hopefully, you haven’t had your heart broken too much. I was lucky in my life to have found your father and the end of my heartbreaks, and I hope you were able to find the same kind of partner in your life.

Zachary, my baby. I’m willing to bet that you were the one to do things in your own way, your own time. Have you finished college yet? I hope so, because as your father and I learned the hard way, college is more important as the days go by. If for no other reason than your own sense of accomplishment. Please keep an eye on your older brother, because he’ll be the one who doesn’t keep an eye on himself, so busy taking care of you guys.

To you all, I hope you know just how incredibly full you made my life. I had no idea when I first had you, Anthony, how much my life would change, and by the time I had you, Zachary, 10 years later, I was STILL surprised at how much life could change with each successive child. But know that as challenged as I was, I was always so proud to be your mother. There was no one who could do better, be smarter, cuter, prettier, better at anything than MY children. You rocked my world.

Love,
Your Mom

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The preceeding is my “entry” in a group writing project sponsored by mama blogga. The winner receives a gift card for amazon.com but I just thought the idea itself was neat, so I decided to participate.What would you say to your child/ren?

I’ve written many a blog posting about my hubby, my man, my main squeeze. Not all of them have been necessarily complimentary. On my other blog, particularly, which I’ve written for 2 years now, I read back and see how unhappy I was before his big change (which I’ll blog about here someday, most likely). But no matter how unhappy I was about him as a partner/mate, his parenting skills and dedication to his children has never *ever* been an issue. He’s always been there for them, although – to be honest – we definitely have different styles of getting our points across to our children.

But nonetheless, he’s an awesome dad. And he tells me quite often that I’m an excellent mom, and how lucky our children are to have me. Granted, he tells me these things usually after another of my emotional meltdowns, but still, I really think he believes it.

He didn’t always.

He completely supports my wishes to stay home with our children, rather than us both work, therefore putting them in school/daycare/etc. He’s never once suggested that if I would just go get a job, we’d be out of whatever financial strait we were in at the time.

He supports ME financially, as well. He (hardly)never questions where the money goes that goes from his paycheck directly into the bank. Most days, he has less than $10 in his wallet, but he knows that the bills are paid, there’s food on the table and gas in the tank. Yes, there are times when I do contribute financially, particularly when I’m teaching my eBay classes – but since pregnancy and baby, those have stopped. So it’s just him, and that’s a lot on his shoulders, supporting 5 of us.

He teaches our kids the stuff that I don’t know or can’t figure out how to explain, like music. He’s been a musician/songwriter/singer since he was a tween. He’s instilled in both kids a love of music and the love of performing. My son loves to put on “concerts” when my family visits, complete with tickets, lighting and microphones. And can I tell you, it’s so much nicer to listen to the kids singing “Back in Black” instead of “I love youuu, you love meeee”. LOL

In short, he’s an awesome dad. I know, I know – it’s MOTHER’S DAY this weekend, but to me, the best present a mother can possibly have is a great partner to do that really hard job.

This Mother’s Day is my 11th. For many of you new moms who celebrate this as your first, I say, be so grateful if you have one of those men. The ones that change diapers, get down on their bellies to zerbert the baby belly and take the baby you’ve been holding for 4 hours as soon as they walk in the door… and remember that you’ve got the best gift of all

If you read my other blog, this posting is a repeat. Sorry

The ma’an (just say ma’am, but with an n) and I have been together since 1995, when we first met on the internet chat Resort. We met online in March, but in real life in July. I was completely and totally sunk when I met him. I moved to be closer to him 5 months later and that was that.

Except it wasn’t. Although we’d go on to spend the next 11-1/2 years together, we’ve never married. This has been a great source of pain and disappointment for me. I have always felt “less than” and although we’ve had dozens of emotional conversations about it, he never gave me any *real* reason as to why he wouldn’t get married. I thought it was because I am a less-than-perfect mate. I am a less-than-perfect parent. I’m not Martha Stewart either. I try to be the best I can be in all areas, and I KNOW it’s not perfect. But it’s me.

Still, nothing. Last summer, though, he finally got the fact that I needed SOME sort of commitment from him. Yes, we have 2 kids. Yes, he comes home to me every night. Yes, he’s always been completely faithful to me. But there’s never been anything to stop him from walking out, either. It hurt. It hurt every time a friend would ask me “What the hell is wrong with him? What is his problem??” It was one of the main reasons we grew apart. I was so tired of wondering what was wrong with me. Last summer, he gave me a beautiful ring after my explanations about having another baby without any commitment. After that, life got in the way and the talk of a commitment ceremony fell by the wayside. Baby news replaced it.

I know, I can hear it already – you don’t need a piece of paper to show that you’re married. You have lived together for 11 years. You’re the parents of 2-1/2 children. He moved away from his entire existence to be with you when you moved away.

BUT VALIDATION means alot me. and I’ve felt invalid. Even after his big change 18 months ago that I detailed for you, the whole marriage thing remained elusive.

So, here comes Valentine’s Day, 2007. Instead of having to retype everything because I’m incredibly lazy, here’s the posting I wrote to a friend group this morning.

I had such a lovely Valentine’s Day yesterday. This hasn’t always been the case – I’ve had so many cruddy ones in the past, that I’d gotten to the point where I hated V-Day – it was just a reminder of how much he *didn’t* care. Then his magical transformation 18 months ago. Now, this new man has made it a very very nice day again J

The day started out with him having to go to work in that dreadful storm, but he made it safely and was able to stay on IM with me throughout the day. Around 10:30, I got a phone call from a florist saying they had a delivery for me, but needed directions to the house. Hmmm, very curious! I said to him on IM “gee, how weird – the baby’s not even due for another 6 days” *EG* He agreed, it was weird J

At 12:30, the knock at the door and some excited children told me that someone was at the door “WITH FLOWERS, MOM!!” and I accepted delivery of a dozen beautiful red roses, all vased up and beautiful. What a nice surprise – he’d never sent me flowers before! He’s brought them but never sent. It was so nice! The card read “I love you forever and ever”. Works for me!

He came home about 3 hours later, after having stopped to help a woman who’d gotten herself sideways at the bottom of a hill and boxed in between 2 snow banks – he was soaked! We spent a couple of hours together while the kids played, even napping for a little bit. Then I went to wash dishes and make dinner. I made a very simple, easy spaghetti dinner and gave the kids and their dad their Valentine’s stuff, which I’d bought last week, in anticipation of possibly hospitalization LOL DD and I had made a “Ballentine’s” cake and we frosted that. Everyone loved their stuff, and it was a really nice night. Honey did dishes while I checked on the weather and the kids went to play and we went back upstairs to watch television together.

So, we’re laying there at 10:30 last night – lights out, talking about the day. He asked if I had enjoyed my Valentine’s Day – I said that I had, very much so. The snow, which I love – having him home, safe – the whole day was just perfect. He says “So, you liked the flowers? Was that enough for you?” and I laughed- they’re perfect, they’re beautiful, of course it’s ENOUGH for me!” (MEN!)

He says, in the dark “I have another present for you”. Oh? And he hands me a box. Oh boy. Well, I can’t see anything, so he gets up, shuts our door and turns on the light. I open the box to find a stunning ring. But it’s not a solitaire, so I’m still rather confused. I’m actually dumbfounded, and my jaw hit the bed. I looked at him and he says “Will you marry me?”

WHAT?!?!?!!

I said.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THIS A JOKE????

I said.

No, this isn’t a joke, I wouldn’t do that, he says.

When I say I BURST into tears, I’m talking flood gates and paddle boats. I kept asking him if he was sure, are you serious.. is this for real?

Lol

(Takes me a while to catch on, clearly)

I did finally say YES and took the ring from the box. Of course, my fat pregnant sausage fingers won’t fit into it, but it looks pretty in the box LOL I’ve uploaded a photo of it to the files section, of course J

So sure I was that he’d NEVER get there. So sure I was that I’d never been ENOUGH for him.

He went on to tell me about his adventurous day of getting the ring (in between playing good Samaritan and trying to get home before I called out the national guard), and then having to keep an eye on me all day so I wouldn’t check the banking online (I do this frequently as I do not keep a checkbook) lol and finally, keeping the ring with him so 1) the kids wouldn’t get it and 2) I wouldn’t find it LOL

The man certainly earned his Dove chocolates and M&M Boxers, that’s for sure! LOL

So, friendly bloggers, I am finally officially his fiancé, a title I’ve used for the last 10 years, albeit painfully. I wanted to share it with you all, and of course, write an entire NOVEL about it at the same time LOL

I told him, he couldn’t have shocked me more if he’d suddenly announced he used to be a girl LOL