Archive for the ‘health issues’ Category
busy busy busy
What a crazy busy weekend. On Friday night, Anthony, Libby & I attended a baseball game for the Hagerstown Suns, a farm team for the Washington something or others. I don’t follow sports, although at least in baseball, I know how it’s played. The night was simply PERFECT – not too hot, not too cool. We watched the moon rise over the right field fence and enjoyed a very active game. This was the first baseball game the kids had been to, and although Libby did get bored, Anthony seemed to really enjoy it. Jimmy chose not to attend, so he & the baby dropped us off at the stadium and went browsing at Lowes & Home Depot before coming back to pick us up (an hour early LOL) He got to see a few foul balls come flying over the bleachers. Then the fireworks that were set off from the parking lot were pretty amazing.
Notice I’ve not included any photos? Yeah – I didn’t take my camera because I had no idea we’d be so close to the field, and the fear that I’d get mugged. Ok, I haven’t been to many games, so I chose to be safe 
(get it? SAFE!)
Saturday morning was hockey practice for Anthony, then shopping for a birthday present for a party for Libby’s friend LIBBY. Imagine 2 Libbys in one place. Her & I went to the party at a local gymnastics gym and she had an absolute ball there. She flipped over all the equipment (get it?) and really had fun with Libby. Libby did, that is. I think.
I have pictures from that, but haven’t gotten them off the camera yet, because I suck.
Sunday was Anthony’s first hockey game of the season. His team has 2 new players this season, and they only had 2 practices before Sunday’s game, and it was 97 degrees! (that was on the bank clock we saw on the way home). They lost, but they played well and Anthony’s playing, in particular, has really improved, even if I do say so myself. I’m still struggling with his ability to take a team sport and take all the blame onto himself when they lose – he just doesn’t HEAR me. Also? How do you tell your kid it’s NOT cool for people to say rude things to each other, and then he gets taunted during the game by other people’s kids? Not only by the opponent, but by another team when they’d finished their game and came over to distract the other game. It really was obnoxious, and maybe a “teachable” moment – but when you’re trying to teach a stubborn teenager, it’s not easy.
Today, I’ve found myself in bed all day because of my stomach. As is typically the case when I’ve done too much on the day before – which is typically on a Sunday – the Monday that follows has me in bed most of the day. Besides the stuff outside the house, I also did laundry, gave the baby a bath, loaded the dishwasher – it was all too much for my stomach, I guess, because today it feels like I’m being repeatedly stabbed. Good times.
But there’s my update. I’m sure I’ll be back in the week WITH pictures.
batteries not included
I feel like I should have sent my 4 BlogHer roommates a disclaimer before allowing them to commit to rooming with me.
It would have gone something like this:
Dawn has a number of health problems that may or may not hinder your enjoyment of your room-sharing arrangement while attending the BlogHer conference in New York City.
Those health concerns include, but are not limited to:
Herniated discs in her neck preclude her from laying in one position for any length of time, therefore causing her to toss and turn, and which will also cause her to rise much earlier than you probably will.
An abdominal hernia will preclude her from lifting anything, and although it should also preclude her from bending, you may or may not trip over suitcases that she can’t move.
A stomach ulcer which causes extreme pain if left ignored – i.e. should she wait too long to eat upon realization that she’s hungry, she may think nor talk of anything but eating until such pain has been fed.
Arthritis, primarily in her legs, feet and knees, preclude her from doing any walking farther than to that bathroom, particularly if she’s worn cheap sneakers.
Extremely low self-esteem and social ineptitude, causing her to cling to anyone who, even for a small moment, is nice to her. You are then stuck with her. For life. Or until you hurt her.
Should you have any questions, reservations or fears, please contact nuthatch@dawniemom.com
Although they really were awesome, I felt like an 80 yr old – limping along and hoping for the best. B l a h.
time
It’s hard to fathom how fast time passes. We mark it, each of us in their own way, with passing birthdays, anniversaries, holidays of every sort, with calendars, clocks and sun dials. Sometimes, it seems to crawl, but for the most part, it flies. It flies and we’re left with wondering, did we use our time wisely? Did we do what we should’ve/could’ve/would’ve with it?
All too clearly, I can see myself 20 years ago. I was 23, and just about to get engaged. Of course, I did not know at the time that that was about to happen, but it wasn’t anything nearly as romantic as what would come from someone else many years later. I’d given my boyfriend, whom I’d been living with for a couple of years, an ultimatum. At that point, we’d been together 6-1/2 years. I had told him he had 6 months at Christmas, to make up his mind – what did he want to do? Because I wasn’t just going to continue sitting around, waiting. I remember the conversation, and I remember on June 23, 1990, when I said to him – on what was our 6th anniversary – well, did you make a decision? He nodded and mumbled yes. I had to drag the words out of him, which – OF COURSE – should have been a sign, but hey, this all comes with 20/20 hindsight, doesn’t it. I asked him what his decision was, and he mumbled "yeah, we can get married". That was it. No big hurrah, really. But naturally, I was EXCITED. Weeee, I was engaged. At that point, it didn’t MATTER that I had had to drag it out of him. The end result was, exactly 1 year later, we were married in a beautiful garden, surrounded by family & friends.
And separated 4 years later, divorced 5 years later.
My point is, time can either drag or fly. But I know with clarity that those 20 years were spent growing up. After the heart break and disappointment of a divorce after we’d been together SO LONG, I was in no rush to get into another relationship, but that’s exactly what I found myself in, head over heels in lusty love, and within months of that, a mom. ANY mother will look at their growing teen and feel like they were just days old, never 13/15/17. My son, my daughter, my son – 1996, 2003, 2007. Bam Bam Bam. Three lives, 11 years. They’ll never divorce me, they’ll never stop being my children. I’ll never stop being their mom. That time has flown, way too quickly.
I’ve moved into middle age. My face is showing the signs of age. My body certainly isn’t 23 any more. But other than 2 broken bones and some odd mass that was removed from my neck when I was a toddler, I’d never even been in the hospital nor had stitches before I went in to have Anthony in 1996. Emergency c-section, 3 spinals. 2003, c-section, spinal. 2007, c-section, spinal. 2008, hernia repair & gall bladder. 4 abdominal surgeries have left me scarred, and scared, for more. Then throw in 2 MRIs, a CT scan, innumerable blood tests, and an EEG. Muscle weakness, muscle twitches, full body loss of sensation, 2 bulging discs – you’d think I’d steer clear of hospitals and doctors.
This past Monday, however, I reported to City Hospital here in Martinsburg, for my 2nd CT scan of my life – this one complete with IV assisted iodine, to help see the blood vessels in my abdomen in order to give the surgeon I’d met with the week before, a better view of what has been going on in there. The reality that on a semi-regular basis, I land in bed for 2-3 days at a time because of this horrible pain in my belly has got to end. After the most recent trip to the ER on Palm Sunday, and the resulting referral to a surgeon, and despite the fact that I have no medical coverage, I went and met with the surgeon. I described the pain, as best as you can once the pain isn’t THERE anymore and you’re left trying to remember exactly where it hurt, and how it hurt – what sort of hurt it was – but I described it enough for him to order the, no doubt, very expensive CT scan.
I’ve since called the doctor’s office once on Wednesday, inquiring about the results and being told that when the results where available, they’d call me to "make an appointment" to meet with the doctor to discuss them. That means another bill, and HOPEFULLY, a clue. I’ve been going with the assumption that it’s another hernia – but the most recent bout with this actually had two points of pain, so although it would suck mightily, there might be TWO hernia(s?).
If it IS another hernia, it’s another surgery. It’s another abdominal surgery that I have intimate knowledge with just how incredibly painful the recovery is.
All without health insurance.
Oh – and my stomach hasn’t bothered me since 2 days after the ER visit. :/
Trying
I’m trying not to cry. It’s hard, knowing all that is to come, and holding back the emotions – or at least attempting to – hiding the fear, the anger, the sadness, from my kids. They already know that it’s there, but they certainly don’t need me to emphasize it by crying. Crying wouldn’t make me feel any better anyway. Crying would hurt more, open up more reasons to cry. My emotions, though, are stripped raw – again – as I’m reminded of why I need to go through this again – and how alone I am to do it. Again.
Photo by4ewerfairy
2 years
It’s been nearly two years since my surgery. Two years since we reluctantly drove to the hospital, we being me, my terrified children, mother, husband, scared of yet another major surgery. Two years since the mind-bending pain of having my gallbladder out and ventral hernia repaired. Two years, 5 scars, and numerous “attacks” since. I feel the same way as I did back then.
Yesterday, I made the mistake of rolling over in bed onto my stomach to make room for the cat. At one point, not thinking clearly (since it was 3:30am), I lifted up on my hands (like doing a pushup) to adjust or something. This STUPID move was enough to (apparently) force all my innards outwards again – out through the new/old hole that is my abdominal wall. For the rest of the day – and now today, I’ve been in awful pain that only subsides if I lay or sit down. But only if I lay down a certain way – which also encourages me to sleep. Sleeeeeep, Dawn, Sleeeeep.
That’s a problem on the weekends, because when Jimmy’s home, all I do is go-go-go.
