Archive for December, 2008
3 Days
I’m not going to pretend to be one of Santa’s little elves and all the happy faces and blah blah because I’m simply not there this year. It’s not really because of the money because once again, we have money coming in. I don’t know why, exactly. Things just are stressed out to the MAX and so I haven’t been blogging.
Jimmy’s been doing the unemployment thing, going to all these goofy classes to learn how to interview, how to write a resume, etc. It’s made him even more miserable than he already was. Thursday, though, was his last day, so that’s good. Now he just has to go volunteer at the hospital while he’s looking for work.
We had a bit of a blow-up on Thursday as well, because he’s just so distant and removed. I’ve been so tired and everything just hurts so much, that I haven’t been able to keep up with the house and he’s pissed about that. I can understand, but it doesn’t help. My knees, my back, my neck – it’s just pathetic how I get around, ommphing and ughhing – I feel and act like I’m 90. Oh and my hip – yeah, that’s hurting really bad now too. I KNOW it’s all a by-product of my weight gain. But this feeling of being a pathetic, helpless loser doesn’t help me get either.
Jimmy’s frustrated by my lack of action. All I do is sit at my computer, he says. He bought me the camera so I could DO SOMETHING with it. But he doesn’t take into consideration that it’s really hard to do anything when every f’ing picture you take is blurry because of a tremor that you developed and can’t get rid of.
(Anthony’s First Ornament – 1996)
Well anyway, after that little “discussion”, things seemed to get better. He & I have weathered a LOT of storms in 13-1/2 years, and so I assume this will be one of them. It just sucks that it has to be this time of year. We only put our tree up last night. It’s an artificial one I bought last month but it’s actually pretty nice looking, and will save us money in the future. I simply can’t justify $35-40 a year for a tree that just gets tossed.
Libby decided that this year, we’d use EVERY SINGLE ORNAMENT we have – but the tree wound up really looking nice. I was quite surprised.
Well anyway, as you can see, I’ve redecorated my blog for Christmas as well, and want to wish you all a very happy holiday.
By the way – if the snow is slowing down your computer, you can scroll to the bottom of the page and shut it off 
Today is the day!
You have until midnight tonight (EST) to enter my FOUR giveaways to win 1 of 7 prizes! Get to it!
- Twilight Collector’s Edition – has had a HUGE response to it. (1 Prize)
- Norton PC Tune-up – It’s amazing how many people need it! (3 Prizes)
- Cutest Little Tax Deduction Onesie – I so totally love them! (2 Prizes)
- Hot Blogger Calendar – I’m actually pretty surprised at the pretty low numbers on this one. (1 Prize)
All giveaways have LOTS of ways to earn extra entries, so it’s worth the little bit extra time & effort!
These will (most likely) be my last giveaways before the holidays, so grab them while they’re hot!
Asking for help
That’s never been one of my strong suits. However, as a mom, I know I need to do it in order to keep food on the table and the lights on. So after Jimmy was let go, I went to the Department of Health & Human Services and applied for help. Help in the form of cash assistance, food stamps, medical assistance. Any kind of assistance. I’ve decided to write about it here because I’m so tired of the stigma that goes along with it. I was near tears writing out the application. I was in tears while being interviewed. Not because of anything the interviewer said, but because of my own humiliation – of being 41 years old and having to ask for help – again.
“That’s what it’s there for” – that’s a term I hear over and over again. Thankfully, they’re right – it IS there for us this time. We were accepted into all of the programs, and now I have medical coverage that won’t put us further into debt. I have my medications for my stomach, my joints AND my head. I have money for food. I’ll even have some money to pay bills. It’s not a huge amount, but it’ll keep the lights on. We haven’t heard from unemployment yet.
Did you know that there’s a lifetime cap on the length of time you can receive cash assistance? It’s 5 years. Not only that, but it’s for all the adults in the house. So both Jimmy & I have that 5 years together, not 5 each. We’ve rec’d cash assistance once before, for 1 month. So we’re back to that ticking clock. When you think about it, though – we have another 20+ years before we’re considered for social security – so using that lifetime cap now is scary. However, yeah – that’s what it’s there for.
In order for us to qualify for cash assistance, we are required to attend employment training. Typically, we would both be required to do this, for a combined 55 hours a week. I’ve applied to be exempted from this because of my health issues. While that’s processing, Jimmy’s doing 35 hours a week. That’s 35 hours that he’s at this place, where he has to take tests (math, IQ, geography, etc.), learn how to write a resume, etc. It leaves him with NO TIME TO FIND A JOB! It’s ridiculous. Next week, they’ve told him he will be required to volunteer somewhere for 35 hrs a week, until he finds a job.
The whole process has him (once again) SO miserable. He’s 44 years old. He doesn’t need assessment tests to tell him what he wants to be when he grows up. But he’s doing it so that we can get through Christmas. Once we get to the New Year, I’ll get the taxes submitted and we’ll at least be able to drop the cash assistance and not have to do what is required. Maybe then he’ll actually FIND a job.
This is one of the reasons why I’ve been so quiet. Another reason is not knowing how we’re going to get through Christmas this year. So hopefully now things will calm a bit in my head.
I just wish it were January already.
