Coming to a Nursery Near You

This was an actual IM between the man & I this morning:

dawniemom: James……………..
jtk2002: yes?
dawniemom: Have you gotten anything from me?
through the mail?
jtk2002: VD
oh
dawniemom: you ******
jtk2002: like what?
dawniemom: well, it’d be pretty obvious if you had
I sent you a card at work
jtk2002: You check the mail
dawniemom: AT WOR
k
jtk2002: oh, let me go check
dawniemom: hmph
so much for surprises
jtk2002: I only check my mail here like once every 2 weeks
dawniemom: oh
you *******
lol
I just didn’t want it sitting on someone else’s desk or in their drawer or in the garbage
jtk2002: yea, I got something in a brown envolpe
dawniemom: ok
talk about anticlimatic

jtk2002: should I open it?
dawniemom: or you could sit on it and see if it tickles you
jtk2002: it doesnt say who it’s from
dawniemom: no shit sherlock
jtk2002: How do I know this is from you?
dawniemom: It’s not actually
it’s from your OTHER girlfriend
jtk2002: I dont like opening strange mail
dawniemom: you could peel the stamps off and sniff them
jtk2002: no. I’m already sneezing
dawniemom: lol
ok, you could peel the stamps off and put them on your *****
and see if they tickle you
jtk2002: okay. looks like it’s a card
no thanks
dawniemom: you’re no fun
no sense of adventure
jtk2002: Oh thanks – nice card
why you do this?
dawniemom: I wanted it to be a surprise
just to let you know that I’m thinking about you
and that you’re not just a paycheck or a babysitter
but that you’re my lofe, my partner, and 1/4 of my life.
jtk2002: Oh. well, maybe if you were a little more patient, it would’ve been a surprise :p
dawniemom: lofe?
jtk2002: Oh, I alweays wanted to be a lofe
dawniemom: well, you are.
my lofe
it’s a mixture of love and life.
lofe
jtk2002: a meat lofe covered in cooked ketchup
dawniemom: rotflmao

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