Coming to a Nursery Near You

Archive for December, 2006

It’s funny how you begin a pregnancy with a big countdown in your head. 240 days. 40 weeks. 10 months (sorry folks, but 40w divided by 4 = 10 months!!). And you walk the walk slowly… in the beginning, it feels like forever. Then, the morning sickness abates (for some) and things get easier. Your body gets used to this new situation, your center of balance returns and you begin to actually enjoy this. Hey, this isn’t so bad. Then your body changes again, and gets bigger. Your back aches, your boobs ache, your bladder shrinks the size of a pea. Your nights get shorter because you’re up peeing every 20 minutes, and in my case, even shorter because you can’t get back to sleep. You’ve been counting all along. 5 weeks… 10 weeks, 1/4 there. Gotta get to 13 weeks, end of the first trimester… breathe a sigh of relief because you’re still pregnant. Ahhh, here’s the 20 week, 1/2 way point! Now it’s counting down – down to that magical (and sometimes not) day when “IT” will be here.

Then we count again. First smiles, first giggles, first belly laugh. First shots, first steps, first days.

It goes so fast, but then it crawls, all at the same time.

(*Note – I began this post on December 11, 2006 and that post ends here.)

I’d placed this post in drafts because I couldn’t quite figure out where I was going with it. It finally occurred to me yesterday where I was going with it and the countdown.

Obviously, a few weeks have passted and things are moving along rather well. We’re passed Christmas, New Year’s is just hours away. But yesterday, while lying in bed in the morning, I realized what I’m counting down towards. It’s not necessarily the birth of our new child. It’s the countdown to when I become invisible again.

Parenthood is hard. And not to take anything away from you fathers out there, motherhood is *really* hard. The first few weeks for us mothers, particularly those of us who breastfeed and weren’t “born to breastfeed” disappear. The calls come “How is the baby?”. The person I am – wife, lover, mother to 2 others, daughter, sister, aunt, etc. .. that all goes away and I’m left with 20 minute runs to the market, running back to grab something to eat or drink before it’s time to nurse again, on that lovely 60-90 minute schedule that this new little tiny person decides on. Showers, meals, clothing changes – those things are all put on back burners. You try to remember to drink drink drink your water, you keep a running tally in your head of how many dirty diapers you’ve changed, how many of each kind (wet or dirty), so that when you next talk to the breastfeeding consultant or pediatrician, you have the info you need. At the same time, you’re figuring out what to make for breakfast, lunch, dinner for the rest of the family – what’s in the fridge, what needs to be bought, when and who will do the laundry. I’m in the middle of it all, and don’t feel like anything is actually getting accomplished.

In the middle of the night, when everyone, and yes, even your mate, the love of your life, is sound asleep and it is just you and this new little one… and hopefully he or she is happy, nursing, or getting ready to sleep again… and not screaming (unlike some unlucky moms and babies I know)… but you still feel so all alone. Invisible. You’re too far away for anyone to drop by and help – and even if they could, they wouldn’t be there at 2am. And you wouldn’t ask them to anyways because you’re too damned proud to ask in the first place.

So that’s where I was going with this … in 7-1/2 weeks, I become invisible, at least for a little while. As readers of my other blog, you may be aware that my hubby did come through a pretty major change of attitude last year, so I’m hoping that he’ll help by picking up the slack with at least the other 2 kids in the first fw weeks … but I can’t count on that. I count on me until someone shows me I can count on them. Keep your fingers crossed for me, ok?

Wellllll, our newest addition is brewing along quite well. My 32 week checkup went ok. As I’ve explained before, there are 2 doctors that handle the “clinic” I go to. For the last several visits, I’ve met with the newer of the two doctors. The older of the two was one of the ones that delivered my daughter, and I like him as well. Back when I was around 13 weeks or so, I saw this Dr. and he thought I felt “bigger” than my 13 weeks. So he sent me for an ultrasound back then, and I measured right along where I was supposed to. So this time, he again says “yeah, I’m glad this is a c-section”… and I say “huh?” and he says “it’s big”. The man doesn’t talk much LOL In September, I went for an ultrasound and the baby measured roughly 6 days further along than what I was at the time. Yesterday, I went for the ultrasound that we’d scheduled, and the baby measured 3 days ahead of where I am gestationally. LOL

Now, of course, after that appointment, I had worked myself up into a tizzy becauseI simply do not have the ROOM for a big baby! I have a hard time breastfeeding, and the thought of nursing a “big” baby scares the hell out of me. All these thoughts run rampant.

So then, of course, I go for the ultrasound and things are looking fine – good, even. The baby was kind enough, also, to show us what is brewing under there, finally, so now at least we have an idea of what we need to buy I didn’t notice the “EDD” until later that afternoon and saw that the baby’s not that big! In fact, he/she is right where he/she needs to be So I felt better after that.

Now that Christmas is over, we plan on the stocking & buying that comes along w/Babieeeessss!

So this week finally brings our ultrasound (#3) – and I’ve opened up a Baby Poll for all my blogging friends to take part in. Just click this bear and enter your free guess I’m considering a prize for the person who comes the closest! So you’ve got nothing to lose!

How can it possibly already be almost 2 weeks since I’ve posted here?? Time really does fly around the holidays, I guess!

Well, Merry Christmas to my 2-1/2 readers out there Things here are fine – we had a wonderful
Christmas and I’m really looking forward to this Wednesday, ultrasound day! YES, we’ll find out what the sex of the baby is. Will we share it? That’s another question! With my daughter, we found out in January, and didn’t tell anyone until she was born! *evil grin at my sis* I’m not sure if we’ll tell or not this time around. I’m not having a shower, so it’s not like anyone NEEDS to know anyways LOL

In any case, tomorrow marks 32 weeks for us – yup, just 8 more weeks to go before this blog, and the lives of 4 people, will undergo a remarkable change! While we didn’t get a whole lot for the baby for Christmas, the next 8 weeks gives us (besides 3 birthdays, an anniversary, Valentine’s Day oh and ya know, a BIRTH) some time and spending money to buy what we need. This is exciting because it’s really the first time *WE* have provided nearly all that the baby needs! I’m kinda psyched about that – I know, I’m strange LOL

In any case, I’ll update tomorrow after our 32 week appt., where I’m sure I’ll have gained another pound or two (argh), and he’ll tell me things are looking good, and then of course, Wednesday after the Ultrasound! Yay! Merry Christmas, folks!

I have another post, in draft form, about counting up & counting down and all the counting that’s associated with pregnancy. I cannot believe it’s already been 6 months since I heard those fateful words! I’m 30 weeks pregnant! 10 more to go, hopefully. With all these damned contractions, though, it’s hard to believe I’ll last that long.

I get contractions when I stand up, when I get out of the car, when I squat down, when I walk up the stairs, when I walk down the stairs… ya know… just about all the time. Not EVERY time, mind you – but enough of them durinjg the day to make me even more exhausted. Like I needed anything else besides a house, 2 kids and a man to keep track of, oh and of course, throw in 2 major holidays in a month’s time. Noooo problemo! Oh yeah, and did I mention my sick mother? Sheesh. It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya!

But anyways, my dr. is fine with me – says I’m doing good (24 lbs is NOT GOOD, PEOPLE!!), baby’s growing, etc. I’m like… uhh, I could have told ya that much! I’ve never gained this much before for a baby – never looked like a buddha either. No, I’m not posting my preggo pics, so ferget it!

I am psyched (for the most part) to be going home this weekend to see my parents, siblings, neices, nephews and whathaveyous. This is the time when we celebrate an early Christmas, and I’ll be glad to see my mom, who is having all sorts of problems that I’ve referenced in one of these two blogs. She’s in a holding pattern, though, which is frustrating for all of us. At least she’s home, and not hospitalized, but it’s still hard. And of course, it IS that time of year when it’s hardest being away from the family that, yah, drives you crazy when you’re around but you miss like crazy when you’re not.

Oh, on a seperate note, I brought some homemade chocolate-white chocolate-chip cookies to the staff of my dr’s office yesterday That made them smile, if not curse me under their breath – but considering that they had 70% of the eaten by the end of my appointment, I’m guessing it was worth it

I also brought a gift for the nurse that I really appreciate and wanted to make sure she knew what a difference she’s made in my life! The best part of this was that my 3 yr old, who had seen the present sitting there, and couldn’t understand WHY she coudln’t have it – saw how delighted it had made the nurse, and as a result, it made HER happy as well – thus teaching her a valuable lesson about life (ok, it’s a reference to the old show Dinosaurs LOL) – seriously, she saw how nice & exciting it was to GIVE something, and I hope it stays. At least for a little while

Anyways, not much else to report. I’m doing ok – still no names because SOMEONE wants to find out what it is first – which will hopefully happen 2 weeks from today. Anyone want to take bets on “Herbert” & “Hazel”?